In the bedroom

Well, this has been an interesting week. On Wednesday morning I was expecting a nurse to come to the take my blood for a blood test. I was in a deep sleep and I heard the buzzer and for whatever reason, jerked to the right and I felt something pull or pop in my right leg. That shock of pain took my breath away but I knew I had to get up and let the person in. What I quickly realized is that I could barely walk on my right leg. When I got to the door it was the delivery man with a box of protein drinks who I was not expecting. At that point I thought I was either going to pass out or fall into this man’s arms. Finally I dragged myself, holding on to the wall, back to the bedroom and when I sat on the bed I realized I could not get my legs up on to the bed. I tried to control the panic that was about to begin to bubble and I called my partner and asked her to come home from work. So I sat on the edge of the bed waiting for either the nurse or my partner Natascha.

Fifteen minutes later the nurse arrived and that meant I had to get up again, starting hugging the wall for a second time and letting her in. She followed me into the bedroom and we both sat on the bed as she setup the equipment. I felt horrible and I was trying so hard to be brave. She finally asked me if I was okay and I tried to explain to her what happened. Her English wasn’t very good but she understood me enough to help me get my feet up on the bed. She was having trouble finding big enough veins and finally I asked her to get me a juice box from the kitchen. She left and within five minutes Natascha arrived.

I will not go into all the details but I was in a lot of pain and it was very difficult to get out and back into the bed. We believed nothing had been broken. The discussion that I did not want to happen, happened. And it was all about getting a hospital bed. I was really upset with the idea. In fact I hated the idea. A friend came to visit and I explained to her what happened and told her my resistance to the hospital bed. But she is a smart woman (need I say she is a librarian?) and she said to me “Jane, the hospital bed will not  just be easier for you but it will be much better for Natascha.” So a hospital bed was ordered, the doctor came to see me in the afternoon and she believed it was a pulled muscle and getting the new bed was the right thing to do. On Friday the bed arrived and I am now laying in this new spacious bed. I am not 100 percent in love with it but I see the benefits of it. So that has been the drama in my week.

Next week I look forward finding out if I am a candidate for pain treatment or any other kind of treatment. I will keep you posted.

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Comments

  • tengtorres  On March 15, 2014 at 10:35 pm

    That was scary! You might want to see a Physical Therapist to see about exercises for the muscle. Be angry enough at your leg for failing you and just start walking / hopping / skipping / jumping with the other. Edema is worse than a busted leg.

    I don’t like hospital beds either – but they’re pretty cool if you want to read or just to play around with the various positions – of the bed, silly! 🙂

    And glad to see that doctors still make house visits in NED. You’d think with universal health care, they’d all be like in extreme poverty and not allowed to see their patients without running bureaucracy.

  • Leslie  On March 15, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    Hi Jane, Pulled muscles, leg cramps, whatever, are rather nasty—I get quite a few of them in the middle of the night—and hopping up to relieve the cramp while you are still asleep is quite the feat. A hospital bed is just another place to sleep—do what it takes to be comfortable. I sleep on the couch most nights now because of the sacroiliac joint pain in my back—seems a bit weird, but oh well….Sending positive vibes from the US for next week. Keep writing. Love Les

  • eyeclam@aol.com  On March 16, 2014 at 12:22 am

    Dear jane- What can I say..I feel your pain. You are in my heart, in my thoughts and in my prayers. Have you ever practiced meditation? I was never a proponent, but, listening to people talk after I had breast surgery, I decided to take part in the mindfulness/meditation clinic at UMASS. While he was no longer directing it, the founder was John Cabot Zinn. I found it enlightening and helpful and continue to do the deep breathing exercise to keep myself focussed on the moment rather than a million other things. That said, I can’t stand people who give you trivial advice when you feel so horrible.You are a trooper. I hope are wearing a star.

    I read your loving blog about your mom. I realize she’s older, but is there a possibility she will be able to come there to be there for you? When all is said and done, there’s no comfort like mom.

    In general, I’m not one for sharing my worries, but here’s a little diversion for you. We just came back from my daughter Julie’s as she had to be someplace much of the day. This has been a particularly trying week for her. Her daughter Sofia (my beloved granddaughter) is nearing 15. Teenageritis is rearing it’s ugly head big time. Sofia has decided that she is not going to aim for high grades; in fact, she has decided (tho in truth teachers have recommended this as her attitude toward studying sucks) that she would like to go down from high honors to honors in 3 of her classes. She’s been telling her mom that she is in charge of herself and that she hates her (her mother). My daughter is so distraught. SHe idolizes both of her kids and they are her life. Education is a high deal to her – and to us- so she’s ranting and raving. Needlesss to say, it’s probably the worst reaction, but, I understand where she’s coming from. Ironically, Sofia had been doing great. IN addition to making the honor roll first semester, she even made varsity ski team as a freshman, did fabulous at the meets -she came in first of all the girls and only was outdone by two senior boys who are cocaptains.She ws voted MVP at the end of the season last week. Initially, we were suspicious of drugs and it really freaked us out, but we do not believe that is the case. NOw, I must say that I do recall Julie as a teenager and while she was always a terrific student, she did really try our patience and was boat very pleasant. She, of course, does not remember any of it so I am not dwelling on it – it’s not helpful, either. I will do all I can to keep channels open with Sofia and hope she reigns herself in. She is a bright, talented young woman. It is so scary to see how kids can get derailed. And, today, life is so much more complicated what with iPhones and you tube and instant access to peers. Hugs to you- Zabelle

  • Jacqueline  On March 16, 2014 at 12:29 am

    I really hope you will get pain treatment! Thank god you didn’t break anything, but a pulled muscle is very painful. So sorry to read that you have so much pain!

    Thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed for you.

  • krunn7  On March 16, 2014 at 3:08 am

    This is all about you….not about us….I am sighing heavily over this blog but also bless you, Dear One, as you explain your journey. I want to be with you on it. Please keep writing, even if it is painful for me to hear the details. You would be blessing us by doing that. I send love and prayers from western Canada in a small village and I am crying right now…. you are loved and I will put your name up during the Prayers for the People tomorrow morning. Your blogs about novels you have read have touched me. I have to stop now as ……

  • Shers Gallagher  On March 16, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    Thank you for the update, Jane. What a relief someone came over to put it all into perspective, making this transition to hospital bed easier for you. What an absolute bummer you’ve had to put up with this pulled muscle on top of everything else, though. As an outsider looking in, I can see the good in this bad thing, meaning the pulled muscle on top of everything else. Without it having happened you might not have been so keen on getting the hospital bed, which you now have and say that it has actually made things are a bit more comfortable for you and your partner. One small step, eh? HUGS

  • Deborah Stott  On March 16, 2014 at 11:19 pm

    Hi Jane. I don’t know if you are reading your emails or not. I didn’t know you had a blog and I have loved reading it. It’s interesting reading the observations between the Dutch / Holland and the US as a Brit. We are Cousins but we don’t really know each other at all and that is a real shame. These last few weeks I have spent a lot of time thinking about friends, family, the past and what is to come. Contemplating I guess you would call it. Been thinking a lot about your Mum, Aunt Daph. She made a huge impact on me as a kid. I remember her coming to visit us in England as this tall, blond, glamorous, gregarious ‘Yank’ as my wonderful Mum, your Aunt Maureen, used to call her. I was 19 the first time I travelled to California on my own from England to visit her for the first time and have been many times since. I have so many memories. I will never forget when I and our Cousin Heather went to collect her from Heathrow airport not long after my Mum died. There she was being pushed in a wheelchair by airport staff until she saw us and she jumped out of the wheel chair and ran to us with a duty free bottle of vodka in each hand. She is a character! I can’t imagine how you are feeling at this time but please remember if Colin and I can do anything you only have to ask. All our love from us to you and yours, Deborah & Colin xxx

  • Ien in the Kootenays  On March 17, 2014 at 12:36 am

    Dear Jane, I am so sorry to read this. There has to be a better way to open the door in the future? As for the hospital bed, they have many advantages and I hope you will come to love your ability to raise and lower various body parts as. you wish. (I was in one for 3 months so speak from experience) Wishing you courage on your painful journey.

  • Debbie  On March 17, 2014 at 1:11 am

    Dear Jane
    There isn’t a day go by that I don’t think of you. I love reading your blog. I loved hearing about your life in the Netherlands. I would nod and say yes I remember ( I use to live there too) or I would think I wish it was like that here. (Canada) You brought so much joy to many people through your blog. I read many of the books you mentioned. I am sure visitors to the Netherlands visited some of the places you told us about.
    The Netherlands is a good country to be in when you are sick and in need. Do what is necessary and only fight when it is worth fighting for. Don’t use your precious energy needlessly.
    I wish you courage, strength, and peace.
    Keep writing.
    Debbie
    xo

  • gloria kennedy, holden, ma  On March 20, 2014 at 10:21 pm

    Jane, wonderful Jane. so sorry you have to deal with this. you are full of love for everyone you touch. Get up as soon as you can and keep up your spirit. Gloria

  • Erika  On March 22, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    Jane, my thoughts are still with youxxx

  • wendy sefall  On March 23, 2014 at 1:32 am

    Sending love and hugs across the miles Jane

  • Jacqueline  On March 25, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    You are in my thoughts everyday Jane. I hope you get pain treatment!

  • clbahrami  On April 3, 2014 at 12:42 pm

    Dear Jane,
    I had been thinking of you frequently, and decided to ‘look you up’. Needless to say, I was shocked to read about your situation. I never got the chance to see you before you left Holden for the Netherlands, but have thought of you often. My husband and I moved to the D.C. area in August of 2011. Roya is finishing her GSLIS this year at Simmons, and is currently working with Credo in Boston. She is very involved with the Special Libraries Association ( will be taking over the Presidency in May). Layla is attending Marquette in Milwaukee. We would love to email you, so if you can email me back, that would be wonderful. Your influence in our lives is something that can’t be compared. I do hope to hear from you, but will understand if I do not. I will check this blog page to get updates on your situation. As I close, I send you love and healing thought.
    Carol Bahrami

  • Jacqueline  On April 11, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    My thoughts are still with you and your family!

  • Amanda Belk  On April 12, 2014 at 7:51 am

    Hi Jane, I hope you got the last lot of photos I sent (a few weeks back now) this time they were of Simon’s family. You know I am rubbish with computers so they could be flying around in space somewhere! You are in my thoughts along with your mum – have written to her again. Charlotte read the story about you and Daph in the supermarket, it made her laugh too! I wish I had tried out your blog earlier but here we go again IT! You are always in my prayers along with all my family most of whom I don’t see but always think about with fabulous memories which I cherish most deeply, memories are so special, Im am hoping to get a visit from Scarlett this week-end, if not next week-end as it will be Easter and the Easter Bunny will be paying her a visit (not too much chocolate though or she will be a nightmare)! I will say bye for now and send all our love from this part of the world .
    Amanda Belk xxxx

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